why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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