i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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