Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize