i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
