Rock
Scissors
Fuck
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
