We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
