i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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