I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
