life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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