The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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