We won't sleep together?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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