he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
