Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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