let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
