try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
