so that wasnt chicken after all
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Randomize
