I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
