Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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