you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
