I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
