My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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