At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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