well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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