Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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