Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
