Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
