We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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