my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize