Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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