is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize