hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
