Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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