I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Is it because I queefed?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
