her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
