I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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