I wanna bring you to show and tell
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
