Need sex. Gaining weight.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
