the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
