Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
