so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
