I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
