you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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