she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
