so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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