if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
