so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
