he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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