dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
