i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
