nut hugger
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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