UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
