Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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