After last night, I could never be a politician.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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