The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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