he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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