Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The feeling are messing with the penis
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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