What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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