Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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