We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
