And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
