We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
