I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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