Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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