I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
