It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
